No Car?? SEPTA WILL BECOME YOUR BEST FRIEND

You are reduced to having to ride SEPTA (Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority)--what to do?

First rule: Always buy SEPTA tokens in advance...
You will not have to pay two damn dollars to ride the train one-way. Plus not every station sells SEPTA tokens especially the Dauphin-Susquehanna station. It really sucks when I'm running behind and I have to walk all the way down to the Cecil B. Moore Station just to buy tokens. They used to sale tokens at the Western Union where I live...until that Western Union closed down over the summer--leaving me to either pay two damn dollars or take a 15-minute hike up to Cecil B...Philly can be WACK sometimes!

Second rule: The so-called Express Train is....A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME! Okay, I said...yes it's a waste of SEPTA token money. Most of the time the express train rolls into the City Hall station at almost the same exact time the Local train rolls in....at least when it's going southbound.

That's another thing, the express train only makes certain stops. Here are those stops (starting in North Philly):
Fern Rock
Olney
Erie
Girard
Spring Garden
Race/Vine
City Hall
Walnut Locust

When you first start riding, it's easy to get confused...Trust Me! I made the mistake of not looking at the signs at the City Hall station and I ended up taking the northbound express train all the way to Erie. BIG MISTAKE! People knew when I got off there that I didn't belong in that part of Philly.

Third Rule: Always watch your ass. Whether you're riding the bus, subway or trolley...maybe even the regional rail, always check the seat before you sit. One time I was boarding the subway car searching for a place to sit. One of two empty seats contained a mysterious liquidy substance swaying back and forth. I planted my buns in the seat next to liquidy substance watching and praying it wouldn't end up on me.

Fourth rule: Anyway, since I'm a female. I've always made it a habit to sit in the front car. That way if something crazy goes down on the subway or at least the front car, the conductor will see it and call the authorities. If you don't believe that crazy-shit doesn't happen on the subway check out this video.